I'm not a good tutor



I don’t see myself as a teacher. I like the idea of being one though not in the formal sense. Going to school to become a teacher and then taking a position at some school sounds terrible. I'm talking about helping friends in areas where I have more experience. For example, at the boxing gym I go to, none of the people there are flexible. People work on speed, technique etc., but no one takes care of their body. Where’s the rolling out? They’re so tight I have to look away when they’re stretching. At times I wonder what their bodies feel like, how tight is their lower back or their calves or any other part. I’ve tried talking to people about the importance of rolling out and how wonderful I feel afterwards but if I can’t even get my friend to take me seriously then what’s the point in trying. Of course I’m going to continue trying, but I don’t believe anyone will listen. 

Because of this idea of sharing my knowledge, I started wanting to tutor refugees in English. Early 2018 I was listening to NPR on my way to ballet when I heard a woman being interviewed promote San Diego Refugee Tutoring. I was so excited because that's exactly what I was looking for. I got home that night and looked up the program. In February I went to orientation and in March I started volunteering. The program helps students who are learning English and who might not have anyone at home to help them. Tutors help students with homework and reading. It wasn’t hard to help students with their homework. I mainly worked with second graders so the content wasn’t difficult, but I didn’t feel like I was doing a good enough job. Did I really have the tools to properly teach a child another language. How would I get them to understand and remember to use "their" instead of there? How could I get this little girl to remember to pronounce the entire word and not cut it off in the middle? Repeating to her that she needed to pronounce the entire word wasn’t working. What else should I have done? I’m still trying to decide if I want to go back this school year and help. Will I really be of any help? In “Literacy, Discourse, and Linguistics: Introduction,” James Paul Gee argues, “discourses are ways of being in the world; they are forms of life which integrate words, acts, values, and beliefs, attitudes, and social identities as well as gestures, glances, body positions, and clothes.” Was I mush faking it, as a tutor, as Gee states? Definitely. Knowing the language will only take me so far. When asked why a word was pronounced or written a certain way I quickly came up with an answer and moved on. Sure I wasn't the best tutor but at least I showed up and tried my best.

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 9, 2018 at 1:49 PM

    Hi Alessandra!
    Doing something you love but don't think you're good at is so hard! But I really admire you for stepping to volunteer for this. I think, the fact that you pushed yourself to do volunteer to help tutor refugees in english, it itself, means you have some skills in order to get the job done. If this is something you're really passionate about doing, I believe along the you will continue to gather the tools you need to efficiently get the job done. I myself have never thought I would ever be a good teacher, never being able to explain things the way other people understand them and not just the way I understand them, so I never thought about going in that direction in life. The difference between me and you is that you want to share your knowledge with other people because some part of you believes that they will benefit from it. I wish you luck with the rest of it and I'm sure, in time, you'll be able to enjoy the job AND see your self as a good tutor.

    -Sivan Zuzan

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownSeptember 9, 2018 at 2:35 PM

    Hi Alessandra!

    I think it's super cool that you want to help people in a somewhat unconventional way. I noticed you said you wouldn't like to be a teacher, yet you chose to be a tutor. I think being a tutor is a super helpful thing for students, as teachers can't always have one-on-one time with students to make a difference. I also think it's amazing that you chose to be an ESL tutor, as it is important for people with English as a second language or immigrants to learn English to have the best possibilities here in the US. Keep doing what you're doing!

    Great post,

    Yliana Alba

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mariel TejadaSeptember 10, 2018 at 11:59 PM

    Wow, this is a good read. Indeed it is not easy to try to do what you love, you may doubt yourself most of the time. This reminds me of something someone once said to me, that "you'll never know if you never try". You're doing really good! Keep it up! I know it's not easy but it is a great learning experience :)

    Sincerely,
    Mariel Tejada

    ReplyDelete
  4. Erin FlewSeptember 13, 2018 at 5:46 AM

    In some cases, like this one, who you are is exactly the right thing. I'm so happy to hear you are doing this. Your care and your time can really make a difference in someone's life!

    ReplyDelete

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